Ben Wilson 720-378-2327

tres, for men only

Part 3 of for men only.  The chapter is called Windows...Open!  What you should know about the fabulous female brain--Women deal with multiple thoughts and emotions from their past and present all the time, at the same time--and these can't be easily dismissed. 

All too often I hear men mock and dismiss women and their internal operating system.  They seem to think women are deficient in some way because of it.  If they could think like a man then everything would be OK.  Can those of you who are a bit older hear Rex Harrison singing, "Why can't a more like a man?"

Jeff Feldhahn uses the metaphor that women have multiple windows open and running all the time.  And there are constant pop-ups to deal with too.  So women really do multi-task better than men.  Even if they don't want to it is hard to turn all of that off.  Men are generally more sequential and women tend to go back and forth.  But we're all probably a little ADD. :)

For Jeff this helped explained several aspects of female relating

Why women jump topics in the middle of a conversation--He points out that a guy might think she is going off on a tangent or she's muddled or confused or not paying attention or not being respectful or all the above.  He says really she's deep into 5 or 6 areas at the same time. 

I was in a meeting a couple of weekends ago.  A woman was trying to make a point but then she got hung up on the name of a woman she was using in the illustration.  As a guy I really didn't care about the other woman's name.  I was ready to get back to her point.  In attempting to steer the conversation back to the topic at hand I clumsily said, "And your point is...?"  My wife kinda nailed me on that one. 

Why your wife or girlfriend, by comparison, often has so much more than you to talk about at the end of the day--As men we generally are on one track but a woman, with all those windows and pop-ups has so much going on in her head.  Even if I do have several things going if you ask me how I'm doing many times only one will be on the forefront. 

Jeff relays these words from an insightful woman about men and women

If all men are truly visual and can't help it, then I think they should please understand that women are truly verbal and can't help it. 

I believe this is important for one big reason.  If as a man you become irritated at your wife's verbal nature to the point she feels like you don't want to hear anything she has to say you'll be crushing your wife's spirit.  She'll wither and/or scorch in this soul desert.  She'll also be more vulnerable when a man comes along that is willing to listen to her and value what she has to say.  I learned this one the hard way.