Marriages Restored

How Long O Lord?

American culture trends toward the bright, pretty and fun not the dark, messy and sad. Grief and sorrow aren’t topics we naturally gravitate toward. Most people don’t want to talk about suffering much less intentionally experience it. Yet, affairs bring suffering, and eventually the losses that brought the suffering must be named and acknowledged.

One challenge with openly suffering is the response it brings from well-meaning friends. These friends are often uncomfortable with suffering and sorrow. They don’t know what to say and may be afraid to catch your suffering like a communicable disease. Unfortunately, these friends will try to explain your suffering, avoid you or fix your suffering. Author and former pastor Eugene Peterson says, “Suffering attracts fixers the way roadkill attracts vultures.”

Explanations and glib advice don’t cure your suffering and sorrow. Find friends to assist with engaging the truth, pay attention to your heart and express your emotions. This is the path through grief. The path winds up and down, round and round through scary territory. Fear, pain, anger and sadness accompany you for this trek. You may wonder if you’re really getting anywhere and query the sky, “How long O Lord?” I don’t know the specific answer, but I can tell you one answer. You’ll grieve longer than you want. But keep going. Eventually, the path of grief ushers you to green, love-filled pastures.

Betrayed and Betrayer by Ben and Ann Wilson