Shame Deceives Us Into Asking, Am I a Mistake?
2016.03.29
Am I a Mistake?
An affair brings many questions. Most view an affair as wrong. It’s in the Ten Commandments. Right there at number seven we are told do not commit adultery. Questioning did I make a mistake isn’t necessary. But other questions have the potential to lead us in good directions. So if it is wrong and I am generally a truthful person how did I end up in an affair? What led me down this path? Why didn’t God stop me?
Other questions lead towards the searing isolation of shame. What is wrong with me? Am I defective? Am I a mistake? Shame sticks to our soul like super glue when we explore these questions. These shame questions, and others, lead to damaging answers. God screwed up making me. I better be perfect or I’ll never know love. If others really knew me they’d want nothing to do with me. I’m so messed up there is no hope.
There is hope. Shame is a tough old bird, but healing is possible. Healing requires exposing your shame questions and answers to others and God. In this vulnerability, in facing your fears of rejection, you will face another question. Do I have the courage to receive from the Grace-Giver?