Ben Wilson 720-378-2327
351/444 Healing from Infidelity: Recreational Intimacy, Be Intentional
353/444 Healing from Infidelity: Recreational Intimacy, Be Serious about Being Less Serious

352/444 Healing from Infidelity: Recreational Intimacy, Silliness

Having fun was something I forgot how to do for a while or I thought it wasn't what a good Christian boy should do. I was too serious and lost my ability to play. Silliness was beneath me. I'm sad as I type that. Now, I love that my life has meaning AND I love being silly and having fun. For instance, if I find myself worrying too much about times when I'm out riding my bike, I zig zag to and fro (checking for cars first) to remind myself I'm not training for the Tour de France here. 

Have fun together. I know you did when you first got together. Plan some time doing something you both enjoy, set some boundaries that you won't talk about money, or the kids or work, or check your phones. And have some fun. Not sure how? Go watch some 5 year olds play. You'll get the hang of it. 

To do this you'll have to spend more time together. Make it happen. Hire a babysitter, trade babysitting with friends or find a surrogate grandma. Ann is available until we have our own grandkids. :) (Yay, we have our own granddaughter now! BW121613)

Be goofy and silly. Do you ever allow yourselves to just be silly?  What did Jesus mean when he talked about coming to him as little children…innocence yes, but there is also a silliness that children exhibit that is delightful. There is a little girl that I see every Tuesday night. Her momma always brings her by our group room so she can snag a piece of chocolate. She has a big grin and just turns her head just a little and then we smile big. Andthenshegetschocolateandrunsdownthehall.

Try this for me. I know it will suit some of you more than others. Put on a silly face and then look to the left, then slowly turn your head to the right. Now try it with your spouse if he or she wasn't there. It's tough to do that and not smile.

When I was all Mr. Serious it left a big gap in our relationship because I'm the more spontaneous one and Ann more the planner. I recaptured the ability to do the unexpected and it added zest to our relationship. 

One time I was sitting on the front porch swing with the sprinkler running. This might not seem playful until you know that the water was hitting the swing. I invited Ann to come sit with me.  The invitation and the acceptance were both unexpected. Smiles. 

Just now we had to recapture the moment. So we went out into the back yard and ran circles through the sprinkler. I love to hear my wife giggle. Our gym shorts are a little wet, but so what. Totally worth it. My mood feels lighter than it did just a few minutes ago. Something good happened in my soul just by trotting in circles and laughing with the wife of my youth. 

Our little jaunt in the backyard is an excellent example of embracing tiny moments of play. Life really can be busy. We weren't out back very long and we weren't on that swing very long. But we’re still laughing and getting mileage out of being sprinkled on that swing after almost a decade.  

Some seasons just don't have time for extended amounts of play. Here are some of our examples of tiny moments of play. 

1)    Winking at one another.

2)    Give each other ‘love pats’.

3)    Chasing each other up the stairs and tickling one another on the way.

4)    Singing silly songs to one another.

5)    Touching foreheads and noses. You can even do this in church. :)

When and what are your tiny moments of play? Are there any that you used to do that you'd like to bring back into your relationship?