Ben Wilson, LPC

Recreational intimacy is about being friends. Enjoying a fun time is important. Ann and I enjoy walks, hanging out by a fire including wiener roasts and toasted marshmallows for s'mores. We both like basketball, especially Mizzou. I could go on. We like each other more now than we ever have. 

In our 'like' we enter into a soul pleasing part of recreational intimacy, Being Enjoyed. There is a way that Ann smiles at me or laughs at one of my jokes which touches my deep desire to be chosen and to belong. In that moment I know I'm being enjoyed by her just for being me.

This includes a mutual genuine interest in the well-being of the other. Ann knows that she matters to me and I know I matter to her. It isn't perfect as just this morning we talked about how to be less busy and how to be more focused on one another when we do have time at home together. Having that conversation, in our mutual lack of perfection, gives evidence that we do matter to one another. 

We like each other. I've borrowed a bit from Bruce Almighty and told Ann, "I feel like you see me--my dignity--my divine spark." And Ann has told me, "I feel less pressure. I don't have to perform, I can just be me."

We enjoy one another and spending time together. How about you? Where are you and your spouse with regards to this piece of the journey?