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322/444 Healing from Infidelity: Sexual Intimacy #15, Surfing for God, Your Brain on Porn

321/444 Healing from Infidelity: Sexual Intimacy #14, Surfing for God, The Invisible Battle

The story of your life is the story of a long and brutal asault on your heart by the one who knows what you could be and fears it. 

~John Eldredge

I love that quote that Michael Cusick shares in Surfing for God. It stirs something deep inside that there is something good in there. My overall trend the last decade and a half is to believe it more. That there is good in me. That God accepts me and delights in me and truly wants to live in me. My primary prayer in 2012 has been to more fully embrace the love of God. A huge piece of that is believing that He has already placed something very good inside of me. Not something. Him. Him in me. But, the enemy still whispers often that this is just a hopeless fantasy of mine. He seeks to use my sexuality as an entry point. I don't believe him the way I used to. Yet, he can be convincing at times. 

In the section, Your Sexuality is a Target, Michael says this, 

In the span of a few moments, a young life can be changed when an uncle fondles his nephew's genitals at a family reunion. Seeing two people have sex online can be both confusing and arousing for a young boy. What causes this? Why does sex create such brokenness? Philip Yancey explained the mysterious and sacramental nature of human sexuality,

"In one sense, we are never more Godlike than in the act of sex. We make ourselves vulnerable. We risk. We give and receive in a simulataneous act. We feel a primordial delight, entering into the other in communion. Quite literally  we make one flesh out of two different persons, experiencing for a brief time a unity like no other. Two independent beings open their inmost selves and experience not a loss but a gain. In some way --"a profound mystery"--not even Paul dared explore--this most human act reveals something of the nature of reality, God's reality, in his relations with creation and perhaps within the Trinity itself." 

Yancey said that "we are never more Godlike than in the act of sex." Mind-blowing isn't it? If we are never more Godlike that in the act of sex, should it come as any surprise that the evil one would make the destruction and desecration of sex a primary target in his war against all that is good and glorious? This is so much bigger than being accountable to someone and trying to remain pure. 

Theologian Christopher West remarked, "If the body and sex are meant to proclaim union with God, and if there is an enemy who wants to separate us with God, what do you think he is going to attack? If we want to know what is most sacred in this world, all we need to do is look at what is most violently profaned."

Your sexuality is an intense battle because it is the arena where God desires to demonstrate who He is and what He's like. Through sexual intercourse, God desires to demonstrate what communion with Him is meant to be. It's the taste of the intimacy we crave. 

Michael goes through different ways the enemy schemes to sabotage us, body and soul. He discusses how idolatry and the demonic go hand in hand. He talks about our own sins and wounds being doorways for the evil one to move in and incrementally colonize our souls. 

There are different lies that we believe from the enemy. He lists some of the most common ones, 

  • I will never be sexually satisfied in my marriage.
  • Sexual gratification is necessary for my well-being.
  • I will always be ruled by lust and cannot change. 
  • Real intimacy is not worth the risk.
  • I don't really love God or I wouldn't be struggling this way.
  • My heart must be desperately wicked.
  • I can never let anyone know my deepest struggles.
  • I am not a strong and powerful man.  

What are the lies you believe? Ask God to reveal them to you? Have a few trusted friends or counselors that can help you see those blind spots as well. Those lies can feel sooo true. 

And then to close the end of the chapter Michael takes you more fully through the process of breaking these ties with the enemy. Again, this chapter alone is worth the price of the book. You may be asking, "How do I pray through this effectively?" Often times our only prayer is for God to 'take it way.' He can't just take it away or he would have to chop out the good desires underneath as well. And He won't do that because he will be faithful to the glory he has placed in you. He won't chop Himself out of you for the sake of you not sinning. 

Surfing for God will help you to pray more effectively on your pathway to freedom from the lies the evil one has perpetrated on your psyche.