How do we develop more Sexual Physical Intimacy? Ok, this is the 4th section on intimacy. You may know our first answer on this by now. But if not, it is...
When there is tension in the sexual area of the relationship it generally only gets talked about during sex. Not a good thing.
The tension with regards to sex runs to the core of our souls. We are challenged in who we uniquely are as male and female. Our insecurities are exaggerated with regards to sex and our ability to connect with and satisfy our spouse. Negative thoughts can creep in like, "I really don't know how to please her," or "I'll never make him happy." These lead to, "I'm a failure as a man," or "I'm letting the entire female gender down when I'm in bed with my husband."
The problem is these thoughts are usually not true and usually not verbalized. We don't want to talk about our insecurities while we are having sex.
A better time to bring them up is when there isn't anything sexual going. This takes some pressure off. These talks don't just magically happen and it isn't the type of deal to talk about when the game or American Idol is on. They have to be scheduled. Scheduling a time to talk about sex can feel just a little awkward. That's one reason it is especially important to be intentional in the sexual area. If a couple isn't intentional about it there will almost never be constructive conversation about it.
So intimacy doesn’t just magically happen here. It has to be developed. Developing it takes conversation during times when sex isn't going on with your spouse. That will mean setting a specific time to discuss it.