Ben Wilson, LPC

We've covered how Non-sexual Physical Intimacy involves all of the senses and why it is important. So how do we develop more of it. 

If you've been following along it should be easy to guess that number one is...BE INTENTIONAL.

Intimacy of any kind doesn’t just magically happen. You, and your spouse, have to develop it. It's important to get an idea of where you'd like to go and then begin taking steps to get there. Part of developing anything is understanding the value of one seemingly insignificant step. Those minute steps, over time, take us a long ways. 

In another sense there are certain places we don't want to go when developing non-sexual intimacy. It takes discipline to take control of your sexual desire. If this is new it will take some effort to not have sex when touching. It's important to be able to redirect yourself if you’re having non-sexual touch and you get aroused. Every sexual urge with ones spouse doesn't need to be acted upon. 

It's also important for women to know that just because a man gets an erection, doesn’t mean he has to move toward sex. It’s okay to say ‘no’. It's also important how a woman says no. We'll cover that more later. For men it's important to remember the value of showing your wife her value to you by touching her in intimate but non-sexual ways. 

To summarize today's reflection on non-sexual physical intimacy, do it, but don’t DO IT.