Ben Wilson 720-378-2327
278/444 Healing from Infidelity: Dormancy, Quiescence and Rest
280/444 Healing from Infidelity: Non-sexual Physical Intimacy 8, Why it is Important

279/444 Healing from Infidelity: Non-sexual Physical Intimacy 7, Sensuality-Touch


“His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me.” Song of Songs 2:6 (NIV)

That's a pretty intimate verse there. Non-sexual touch doesn't mean there won't be times sexual restraint is needed. No wonder those Hebrew boys couldn't read Song of Songs until they got older. 

Sometimes non-sexual touch can feel as pleasurable, but in a different way than sexual touch. Let me give an illustration.

Our church in Denver had a retreat just south of town near Palmer Lake and Monument if you are familiar with the area. Ann and I were at breakfast in the rustic cafeteria with our friend, Norm. We had finished eating and were enjoying a pleasant conversation. I began to gently touch Ann's hair and scalp. She leaned in. I took the que and began to massage more purposefully. Ann closed her eyes and leaned in more. Ann's shoulders and arms went limp as she rolled her head around to make sure I didn't miss a spot on her head. She softly cooed her approval. 

Norm had been taking all of this in. When I finished Ann's ecstasy of a massage, she slumped into the chair in full relaxation, her hair looking like a 50mph wind had roared through the dining hall. 

Norm said, "Ann, do you need a cigarette?"

We laughed long and loud. I'm sure it was one of those times that Ann laughed so much she couldn't catch her breath for a few minutes. 

So that's what I mean when non-sexual touch can feel as pleasurable, but in a different way than sexual touch. 

Massage helps enhance intimacy in your relationship by learning to communicate through one another’s nurturing touch.  Massage is a form of physical communication that encourages trust and understanding.  It is an easy way to release physical tension, improve communication and develop a deeper, more intimate relationship.

I want you to get some lotion. Put some in your spouse's hand.

                Massage each hand for one full minute. At least one full minute for each hand. Then switch and have your spouse massage your hands. One full minute each hand. This may be more intimate touch than you have experienced in a while. If you become sexually aroused during this time keep it in check and no sexual jokes during the exercise. Enjoy the sensitivity and pleasure that God intended when he created you.