273/444 Healing from Infidelity: Non-sexual Physical Intimacy 3, Sensuality-Sight
“How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights!” Song of Songs 7:6 (NIV)
Many women don't understand the visual nature of men and exactly what that means. I realize that statement could inflame some women, but know that I'm not saying you exist just to look good for your guy. I say it to give understanding to the struggle for men in being faithful and visual. Read more about this here and check the comments to see that some women were very upset with this notion.
Shaunti Feldhahn has a good illustration of this in her book, for women only. In a gathering of women when discussing this subject, she'll put a slide on the screen that says, "Don't read this." Too late right? That's her point. There is something God placed in men that intuitively evaluates a woman on first sight. He's attracted to her or not and knows it in a nanosecond.
The point of all this for both men and women is physical attentiveness. We tend to focus a fair amount on this during courtship, but can lose...well...sight of it after we're married.
A part of this is taking the time to make yourself look pleasing to the other…brush your teeth and hair (those of you who still have hair). :) No, really, it’s more than that. It’s more about how you present yourself to one another. Remember when you were dating and spent hours looking for the perfect outfit, or the perfect lipstick.
Or guys, do you remember when you made the effort to get your best shirt out of the dirty clothes pile. That may be more true for some of you than it was for others.
This isn’t about having sixpack abs or being a supermodel; it’s about making an effort. It’s about presenting yourself as a gift to your spouse. It's great to be able to relax and be comfortable in your own home and it's also great to put some effort into your appearance and enjoying one another.
How often do you look at one another…I mean really look at one another? Not just a passing glance as you whoosh out the door. Again, we don’t ‘stop and pay attention’ to one another.
Stop and Look at one another. 1 FULL minute. No looking away or looking around at others or looking at the clock, ‘stop and pay attention’ to your beloved.