Ben Wilson, LPC

An essential element of connecting spiritually is to respect and accept your differences in how you connect with God. Can I just go on record in saying that, in general, Christians suck at this. That's a theological term. I give you over 3000 denominations as a partial exhibit.

This trickles down into marriages where 'my way' becomes the way. One person likes to pour over and devour scripture for hours and the other is good with a short devotional. One person likes to take a walk alone in the woods and the other desires to hang out with 200 close friends. These folks begin to look suspiciously at one another out of the corner of their eyes wondering, if in fact, the spouse really loves Jesus. He or she just isn't doing it right.

Rich Mullins said, "God is right and the rest of us are just guessing." Part of what I hear in that statement is to not take my preferences too seriously. I need to be sincere in my pursuit of God, and letting myself be captured by God, but I also need to see that there are a quadzillion different types of folks and not everyone will be the same in connecting with God. That includes your spouse sitting with you on the couch.

These differences provide a wonderful means of living out the gospel and getting to know God more deeply. Being curious about why a certain discipline or soul training is helpful for your spouse, when it seems odd to you, can provide a means of spiritual bonding in the presence of broad differences. Accept and respect your spouse's 'odd' ways. It makes marriage a lot more fun. 

A question to discuss: For what moment today are you most grateful?