Ben Wilson, LPC

You'll notice that emotional intimacy overlaps with spiritual intimacy which overlaps with physical intimacy which overlaps with recreational intimacy. We break these down to talk about them but the reality is we have a soul that is complex. To be able to talk about it we construct categories to understand. But really, these intimacies are all intertwined. You'll see some of these areas in all four categories of intimacy.

So far in 'how to develop emotional intimacy' we've covered: be intentional curious and for, talk, be honest, share from the depth of your heart, FANOS, share your true self, listen, spend time together and relax together. We'll close in prayer. ;)

I don't know about you, but sometimes prayer is a very scary word. I always know that my prayer life could be more. One time I was talking about this with my friend and mentor, Tom Varney. I told him I wanted a better prayer life but was falling short. He told me not to discount the fact that I wanted a deeper prayer life. That thirst for a closer relationship with God through prayer is a beautiful thing. Be sure not to miss that in yourself. Ok, Tom wouldn't say beautiful thing but that was the gist of it. :)

Ann's post yesterday on relaxing was a form of prayer. Breath in.. Abba...breath out...I belong to you. This is more of a centering prayer. I've also heard to just focus on one word that represents God to you. I'll breath in saying grace and breath out saying grace. The one word helps to focus when my mind wanders. 

Another way of praying is to pray for one another. It's powerful to spontaneously pull your spouse close and begin to pray for him or her. There is an intimacy in prayer that isn't there any other way. Both of you pondering the creator of the universe together. That's a beautiful thing. 

But don't limit your prayer for one another just to times you are together. Pray for your spouse at any time of the day or night. It's an act of trust and faith. 

Also, pray with one another. This is time together seeking God. Ann and I don't formally pray together like this every night. When I hear of someone who does I feel inadequate in my spiritual life. Can anybody relate to my sense of inadequacy in this area?

We pray regularly. Hopefully it is a habit of mindfulness towards God. However it goes it brings us closer. There isn't any magic formula here. It's being intentional about seeking God together and individually. Respect one another in this area. The effort is what is important. It's not about getting it exactly right.