Ben Wilson, LPC

Our 4th barrier is kids. Kids a barrier? One of the most fantastic places on the planet to see eternity is in the eyes of a baby. How can you say they are a barrier? Because, that heaven-eyed baby, can't eat by himself, can't keep clean by herself and can't stay safe without a vigilant parent. As much life as that baby gives he or she tends to draw down energy like a gps program on a smart phone. Young kids are helpless and will die without you. Toddlers are constantly attached to your leg making intimacy most difficult. Too many parents today have their little ones in bed with them making it next to impossible to experience real intimacy and not just physically. 

As children move into elementary school they get busier which means the parents are too. This trend can continue on into high school. As they head for college husband and wife look at one another. The husband says, "I'm Jim, who are you again?"

Be aware that the least satisfying time of marriage according to one survey was when children under the age of five live in the house. Again, it's not that kids aren't great and wonderful. It's that before kids the two people could have focus on just the other. Now there is another Mini Me constantly demanding attention away from the relationship. Knowing that this is a tough time to be close will hopefully help you have some grace for your spouse if this is your situation. In other words he or she isn't all the problem.