Ben Wilson, LPC

Here is an Intimacy Checklist that Ann and I adapted from Dan Allender's book Wounded Heart. Give these some thought. If you see yourself in multiple statements then I'd recommend you do some individual work apart from your spouse. 

• I'm not deeply intimate with anyone.
• I don't like people to get too close.
• I have many friends and associates, but no one really knows what goes on inside me.
• My marriage works, but I wouldn't talk with my spouse about the deep longings and pains in my soul.
• My spouse and I are open or secret enemies.
• Every time I think I'm getting close to you, it seems as though the relationship falls apart. 
• I like to keep busy at work/play. When I'm alone doing nothing in particular, I don't like how I feel.
• I don't think of God as someone I can be close to.
• I don't like feeling vulnerable.
• I would rather protect myself than have to depend on someone else.