Ben Wilson, LPC

I looked carefully for a moment at Miss Sullivan: high cheekbones, thin straight nose, oval features, dark eyes, dark hair combed back flat into a French twist. "Here are the different ways three great modern artists would have seen and drawn the same person. The first one is an artist named Matisse."

I wrote his name on the blackboard. Over the name I drew in a single continuous line with blue chalk the face of Miss Sullivan. It leaped, instantly recognizable, from the chalk onto the blackboard. There was a stirring throughout the room, and murmurs of surprise and recognition. 

"The second is by an artist named Modigliani."

I spelled out his name on the blackboard and in red chalk drew Miss Sullivan, high-necked and with exaggeratedly high cheekbones and almond-shaped eyes, emphasizing through the cylindricality of her neck the charm and refinement I sensed in her bearing. 

"The third artist is Picasso. How many of you have heard of Picasso?" Hands went up. "Good. Almost as many as have heard of Asher Lev." Rev Greenspan joined the general laughter.

I wrote the Spaniard's name on the blackboard, and I drew Miss Sullivan in ochre as he had once painted Gertrude Stein: solid, sculpted, Iberian, a creature more stone than flesh but with eyes that penetrated into the farthest future. I looked over my shoulder and saw Miss Sullivan staring open-mouthed at the drawing... 

"Three different ways of seeing the same person," I said. "It makes life richer to be able to see in so many different and exciting ways."

~Chaim Potok, The Gift of Asher Lev

Perhaps some of your differences and conflict results from your inability to see your spouse as an artist who sees the world differently from yourself. Increase the spectrum of your vision. Appreciate the unique artistic perspective of your spouse.  Life will become richer in different and exciting ways.