There were many times I felt this way with Ann as we dealt with her affair. I am sure she felt that way towards me too. But there was something deeper in our souls.
That something spurred us to do simple acts of kindness when we didn't feel like it. It was more our obedience to God in the chaos than anything else.
I don't believe in the saying fake it until you make it. I was very aware of the pain and anger in me. I didn't paint a pseudo-smile on my face. I was honest. I didn't say I love you. That had turned into something like saying hello for us. It had lost the meaning of you are special, I want to give of myself to you and be with you forever. I would say, "I want you to have this" or something like "I got you this cake because I want our kids to be able to celebrate with their mom on her birthday."
A marriage can't go on like that forever and thank God, really, that ours didn't and we find great joy in being together today. A big reason for that is making those small decisions to bless the other when little in us wanted to do so.