155/444 Healing from Infidelity: Practical Ways to Process Anger #2
2012.02.07
In processing anger we mentioned before to learn to feel and identify your feelings. Next, learn to express them in unregrettable ways and discuss them with close friends especially your spouse.
A powerful way to process is to keep a journal. Keeping a journal can be intimidating because there may be a false pressure to write something profound every day. It really is another way to get your feelings out however often you choose to write or type.
Today there are a plethora of ways to journal. The old fashioned manner of pen and paper in an actual journal is available and some prefer this. Other ways include starting a private blog or private facebook notes, page or group. In fact public posts on facebook are in part a way of journaling. Just be aware of who you desire to read your journals. Other private on line journals are available around the web. Finally, a imple way to journal is in a word document on your computer.
Journals provide an opportunity to express your private feelings between God, yourself and your spouse. Ann and I kept a journal and passed it back and forth. It helped to get difficult feelings out with one another. Remember, we were conflict avoiders so this was helpful for us to start discussing difficult topics. A lot of it was messy, chaotic and beyond a G rating. It was raw and honest and helped us each to process our anger.
One place I don't recommend expressing these feelings out is through texting. Texting strong emotional content leads to misunderstanding and escalation. A text of this nature is a demand to 'hear me right now regardless of what you are doing at this moment.'
Journaling provides a safe place to process your emotions. It also serves as a road map to help see where you've been, where you are and where you are headed. It can be especially helpful during those times when your legs seem to be stuck in tar. Looking back at my entries helped me see that movement really had occurred even though I wasn't aware of it in the moment. We're usually not as stuck as we feel.