I'm really really proud of you and glad you are staying with it. It is a hard, hard journey. If you are losing hope or feel that progress is too slow take some of my hope. Trust me and others that have been down the road. Sometimes it feels like walking in a tar pit. Your feet are moving but your scenery doesn't change much.
In my office I have a picture of the Eiffel Tower in process of being built. The first scene looks like rubble. It looks something like this one.
From a distance it looks like chaos. I often tell people in chaos that this is where you are right now. It does't look like meaningful work is taking place, but this is essential if everything is going to progress and grow.
So for you on these first three legs of the journey there has been a great deal of meaningful, foundational work going on at the depth of your soul.
Here is a picture that looks something like the one in my office.
Without the foundational work these pictures don't exist. Three tenths of the way on this journey, whether it feels like it or not, you've made great progress. The scenery really is changing.
Oh and by the way, that complete Eiffel Tower, we only get to that one at death. We won't hit completion in this life.
So keep taking a look at who you are and who you want to become. Keep talking with your spouse all you can. Find another couple or two that you can be honest with about your marriage, who are for both of you and for your marriage. Keep seeking God and asking questions of Him. He's out in front of all this and will continue to be there.