Ben Wilson, LPC

Ann

For women control is our primary sin. It's not that men don't control and women don't avoid it's that primarily we women move towards controlling in order to cover our hearts. In this way we don’t have to be vulnerable. 

When we control we don't have to be soft. And soft is a good word, a word of strength not weakness. Many women equate softness with not having a voice. But we do have a voice and we don't have to control to use it or to find it. 

By being controlling we are essentially telling the men in our lives, “I will make you engage with me, but I won’t show you my heart and soul.” We erect walls. We want intimacy but aren't willing to pay the price for it. We lock our hearts 'safely' behind steel barriers all the time wondering why we feel so lonely.  

Instead of inviting my man to me and risking rejection I will pursue him and try to control. I begin to demand that he love me on my terms. 

Our tremendous influence was dramatically proven in the garden. God spoke directly to Adam, but Eve desired to take the lead from Adam, but this really backfired on us ladies! 

God instructed Adam about the trees in the garden.  Eve, under the serpent's influence,  decided for herself to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. She took control of the situation as she took hold of the fruit. She doubted God's goodness and good intent for her.  

The result was that her man would rule over her, rather than lead her. I'm not saying that many women don't have great leadership qualities, they certainly do. I am saying that there is an undercurrent of tension stemming from a struggle over power sometimes due to our propensity to be controlling. 

¹⁶Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."  Genesis 3:16