During the worst of times, working on our marriage or even staying put was an act of extreme obedience for both of us. Our hearts screamed out to run away, run away. Our will, ever so slightly, humbly through gritted teeth said stay, God is up to something good. Or at least we hope He is. He better well be dammit. We are both the youngest and get a little spoiled some times. :)
He was up to something good for us. At times it seemed like we stood in stubborn defiance as He accomplished His will. In reality, we were swept up in his current. We were standing still and not running. Our stillness allowed God to move us. We obediently would talk and share our feelings. We kept our mouths shut when we wanted to shred the other with our words. And sometimes we did blow it and cussed out one another. I don't think that 'one another' is part of the one anothering in the Bible. :) Somehow, He would help us recover and keep moving us along.
It seemed like forever, but it was really a little more than a year when our obedience paid off and God's forgiveness humbled me and flowed through to Ann. The, at times, excruciating (see the root crucify in there, as in we hung in there as best we could) obedience was worth it and we experienced the resurrection of our marriage.
Karl Thienes over at St. Stephen's Musings had a post recently on obedience and I scarfed this quote from St. John Climacus, one of the spiritual fathers, of the Orthodox tradition.
Obedience is the tomb of the will and the resurrection of humility. A corpse does not argue or reason as to what is good or what seems to be bad. For he who has devoutly put the soul of the novice to death will answer for everything. Obedience is an abandonment of discernment in a wealth of discernment.
What seems wise in dealing with an adulterous marriage is to run away. For us, abandoning this worldly wisdom obediently into the wealth of freedom given by our Father, Son, and Holy Spirit is the wisest choice we've ever made.