444 days. That's all the headline said about the US hostages being released from Iran in January 1980. On the day of their release, they had been held hostage 444 days. It's also the approximate number of days it took for Ann and I to really turn the corner and find release in dealing with our affairs.
I started looking at the number after watching the movie Fireproof. The Fireproof folks are marketing the Love Dare. The Love Dare is 40 ways over 40 days that you can be a better spouse to your spouse.
40 days? Not for what we are usually dealing with on this site. What would 40 days cover. 40 days just gets you to the reality that this crap isn't going away anytime soon. The pain is still intense. I'd wake up and feel great for a 10th of a second and the pain would come crashing in again.
So I write this for you folks at day 100 or 279 or 364 or 400 who wonder. What's wrong with me? It's been so long will we ever get passed this. Why do I care? I wish I didn't care. I hate that I care. We've talked about it all again and again so why won't it go away?
But each day is a step through the darkness. So keep steppin'. Do your best each day. Do your best on day 1 and 41 and 101 and 280 and 401. And somewhere out there, way beyond 40 days, maybe 11 X 40 days, plus 4, 444 days, you'll find freedom and you'll know that you know that you know your marriage will make it, and you are glad about it.