Here are some words written by a woman broken by the consequences of her affair. Listen well if you are debating whether to start one or whether to end one. We all think we know the answers in the middle of our affair elation and intoxication, but we are usually fooled.
2007 marks my seventh year after my divorce, which, should never have been. I had an emotional online affair, and I started it. I asked for a divorce in the first place. I was sure this affair partner was "meant to be" for me. Then, my spouse at the time, found someone REAL. We were going to reconcile, but we didn't. He married this woman, and they now, after many court battles, are raising my children, 12 and 14. Today, I pray to God, and try to be nice to myself...but, I can't seem to get over being so stupid, naive and unaware how powerful this emotional attachment would BRING ME DOWN. Because the guy dumped me! I cry all the time. I just can't stop. If only I had known, or been aware of your website. I have nothing. I have lost everything. Do you provide any counseling for those of us who did divorce?
You can hear the pain and heartache in her words. As much as you think you are smarter and yours is 'for real' it's generally just fantasy and not reality. Bills arrive, clothes need washing, dishes need cleaning, kids make bad choices and some good ones, dogs need feeding, etc. There are doctors and dentists and oil changes and checkups. All of these daily facts of life are generally missed in the fantasy world of online affairs and emotional and physical affairs.
I don't agree that she has nothing. There is a lot left to live for and a lot of glory in her to discover. She has lost much, but much hope remained for her to discover who she is and a fulfilling life even with all of her loss. And yes, I counsel people who have gone through divorce.