Much of the time when affairs happen the people involved aren't really looking for one. They aren't looking to lie to or deceive their spouses. Many are satisfied in their marriage. Then they begin to work with a certain someone who has a common interest. Conversation is fun, interesting and energizing. Attraction develops. It isn't abnormal, but people get in trouble when they are surprised by it and then begin to cultivate it.
They begin to look forward to their talks and time together. They make excuses to go to each other's desk and ask questions. It's hard to stop the momentum once it begins. But it is possible.
Here's an article from Marriage Partnership about one woman's brush with an emotional affair and how she extricated herself before she was caught in a full fledged affair. She deals with the question,
How do you know when you're getting too close?I tried to sound casual, but stumbled as I confessed, I think I may be too attracted to a man in my office.
Read Just Friends?