Ben Wilson 720-378-2327
A Hopeful Comment
Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston

Happy 20th Anniversary To Us

I watched Unforgiven last night.  It is an interesting, unsettling movie.  Clint Eastwood, Morgan Freeman, Gene Hackman, Richard Harris a great cast.  The part that stood out to me involved the stories around Eastwood, Freeman and a younger outlaw wannabe whose name escapes me. 

The 3 went to kill 2 men for $1000. This was in 1880.  Eastwood and Freeman were former killers and thieves together.  They had been living calmer lives for the past decade.  Eastwood had a wife who helped him get sober.  She had died.  When it came time to pull the trigger Freeman couldn't do it.  He didn't want to go back to killing.  Eastwood did it.  The kid killed the second one. 

Freeman had ridden away but was captured.  He was taken to town where he was whipped with arms outstretched.  He soon died in the continuous beating and was set out in a wooden casket on the boardwalk in front of the saloon.  He had a mocking sign above him.  The connection to Calvary was powerful. 

This was the kid's first killing and afterwards he was broken down.  He didn't want to do it anymore.  He was the thief on the cross who repented. 

Eastwood, when he heard of Freeman's death, began to drink.  He rediscovered the killer within.  He went to town and killed Hackman and five others.  He was the thief of the cross who didn't repent.  Yet the metaphor breaks down a bit as Eastwood evidently went back to peaceable ways to raise his kids. 

One line in the movie stands out.  The kid in his remorse said about the man he killed, "He didn't deserve it."  Eastwood whisper-snarled, "We all deserve it." Unforgiven.

We all deserve it.  We're also all deeply loved undeservedly.  The paradox of the gospel. 

Well, that's an interesting intro into celebrating our anniversary.  :-)

We really have made it to this point.  Our actual date is August 3rd but we're going to have an in town partial getaway this weekend.  We are both excited.  Ann is teaching women's bible study (last night and actually as I type).  I'll share some of her words on respect at the end. 

I do feel her respect and I do love her greatly.  All I can do is worship, be in Awe, as I think about our journey and where we are today. 


Here is a piece of what Ann said about respect. 

1.    If he feels disrespected he feels unloved.

B.   R-E-S-P-E-C-T

1.    song actually written by a man.

2.    lyrics were slightly changed…

a.     Respect is what I want, respect is what I need…got to, got to have it.

3.    ‘find out what it means to me…’

a.     added by Aretha, but wise words that right on as respect applies to our men.

b.     Respect him in ways that are meaningful to him and offer him unconditional respect.

C.   Unconditional Respect

1.    ‘But he should have to earn my respect.’ or ‘What if he doesn’t deserve my respect?’

a.     33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians



1)   Scripture says nothing of ‘respect him if he earns it or deserves it’.  It says we ‘must’ respect our husbands.

a)    Paul isn’t just making a suggestion here, he’s issuing a command from God (Love and Respect)

2)   Showing respectful behavior when we don’t feel respectful is evidence of maturity  (Love and Respect, p. 91) and humility.

a)    It is also evidence that we want to love, reverence, obey and trust God. (Love and Respect, p. 91) (maturity)

b)    It doesn’t mean that at times you don’t ‘think’ disrespect, but acting on it is a different story. (humility)

b.     But you don’t want to be beat over the head with Scripture…why else should we offer our husbands unconditional respect?

2.    He has a good heart.

a.     He may not even know it and he may not make choices based on it, but he still has one and we can gently and tenderly help him realize it’s there.  Our respect goes to the depth of his soul – to who God created him to be – and gradually uncovers the goodness there.  How do you do that? 1) and 2)

1)   Respect him for who he is (the good heart concept), not for the choices he makes. (paraphrase of For Women Only, p. 26)

a)    He was made in the image of God.

2)   Assume the best and you’ll find it easier to show respect (For Women Only, p. 49)

a)    We tend to see in others what we think we will see

b)    Others tend to behave the way we expect them to, because we influence their behavior, not just our own.