In reading Shirley Glass and Not "Just Friends" today I found some good words that summarize what we hope for couples that are attending our weekend (every married couple really).
She listed out the following characteristics of a strong marriage.
- Compassionate communication is the essence of your healing.
- Your sexuality is a mutually desired expression of love, affection, and eroticism. (Ann looked at this and asked if we can say eroticism. Yep. :) I looked it up and the first definition of erotic is, of or concerning sexual love or desire; amatory. That's just what we mean.)
- You have replaced any rigid patterns with flexible interactions: shared intimacy, power, and respect.
- Conflicts are resolved and don't escalate; you don't avoid them.
- Neither of you feels overbenefited or underbenefited because you are equally invested in the relationship.
- You have a united front in dealing with others, a co-constructed story about the meaning of the infidelity (or whatever the rift was, ed.) and a shared vision for monogamy.
Strength, courage, tenderness and blessings on your journey.