Peggy Vaughan has kindly added me to her referral list for counselors in Colorado who are adept at dealing with infidelity. She and her husband James first began telling their story of infidelity and redemption twenty-five years ago. She has written several books including The Monogamy Myth.
I read The Monogamy Myth a few years ago and while I 'dogeared' many pages the concept that stood out to me most is that our culture is hostile towards monogamy. We are bombarded daily with messages that sex or hooking up with a new person is what makes your life good and will take you to a blissful state of being. No wonder out culture is littered with affairs. Pretty soon those messages begin to take hold inside.
Peggy also shared with me a little about her dealings with the media. This came up because Ann and I have decided to not do the Diary of an Affair show. We realized we were trying to put a round peg in a square hole. We want to help others through the devastation of infidelity. The show is more about titillation and comparisons than educating and helping. At their core affairs generally are not about sex (though sex is an important element) yet Diary insisted on making that the focus. Their representative, Jayne Shane was friendly and cordial but she had a job to do and that was to draw out sexual details in a manner that we just don't feel is helpful.
Peggy pointed me to this piece on her site, Extramarital Affairs and TV Talk Shows. There is much wisdom in her words concerning the 'spill your guts for entertainment' culture that we live in. Ann and I don't want to share our story for entertainment. We feel called to care for hurting folks in the pain and confusion of the revelation of an affair. We also hope that some people will avoid a physical affair when they hear our story. We feel that American Family had a much more honoring view and intent on their episode, Rebuilding After an Affair. Ann and I are glad to have participated. Peggy also is on this show and discusses internet affairs.
Peggy Vaughan has been doing this for quite a while and has much to offer as you navigate through an affair. I encourage you to visit her web site and read her books.