Ben Wilson 720-378-2327
Fighting For Your Marriage
Children of Unstability

Big Rocks

As I’ve been preparing for the Fighting For Your Marriage Seminar, I thought back to the training Ben and I received from Scott Stanley, one of the primary authors and researchers of PREP. He was relating the story most of you have probably heard about Rocks in a Bucket.

“A professor comes into his class one day carrying a bucket and a variety of items. He starts by filling the bucket with the big rocks. He asks the class if anything else will fit in the bucket. They reply, “No, nothing else will fit.” He starts putting smaller rocks in the bucket, filling in some of the holes around the big rocks. He again asks the class if anything else will fit in the bucket. They’ve caught on by now and say, “Yes, what is it?” He pours sand into the bucket, filling in even smaller nooks and crannies around the big rocks and little rocks. He again asks if anything else will fit in the bucket. The class isn’t quite sure what else will go in, so again they say, “No, nothing else will fit”. He surprises them one last time by pouring water into the bucket, filling it to the brim. He looks up at the class and asks them what the point of his little exercise has been. One student, thinking he is very smart, answers, “No matter how much you have to do, you can always fit one more thing in.” The professor chuckles, saying, “No. That’s not it. The big rocks symbolize the important things, people and events in your life. Make sure to put them in first or they won’t go in.”

Scott Stanley shared with our training class how he had shared this story with his wife and had very tenderly looked over at her and told her, “I just want you to know, honey, that you are a big rock.” She looked back at him and replied, “Yeah, but am I in the bucket?” Ouch! So remember, not only is it important for us to see our spouses as big rocks, make sure you put them in the bucket first!

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