As God continued to push us into the reality of darkness within our relationship, I held onto that glimmer of hope. Five years later Michael and I renewed our wedding vows. Five years. Five rocky, exhausting, significant years!
As Ben and Ann stood before us, we reconfirmed our love for one another in front of our now dear friends that we had met at the marriage conference. Ben reminded us of that little speck of hope, saying, “A speck of light shines brightly in the darkness.”
Hope is found in truth, in sharing with one another, and in realizing our imperfections are not something to hide or run from.
I’ll never forget a memory I have during a particularly rocky time. Each week Ben and Ann met with this small group of couples and that particular week they were talking about recreational intimacy. At that time, Michael and I were lacking in every area of intimacy and I had no desire to participate in the activity. Ann came prepared with a giant beach ball and Rihanna’s song, “We Found Love” blaring on her speakers. Her contagious laugh filled the room as she tossed the ball in my direction, forcing me to either participate or be smacked in the face.
As I participated against my will, I watched this diverse group of brothers and sisters in Christ playing together with the upbeat lyrics, “We found love in a hopeless place, we found love in a HOPELESS place,” repeating over and over. Tears streamed down my face and by the end of the song, I did not want it to end. That’s what you get with Ben and Ann. It’s a wild ride, a complicated dance where progress is made with two steps forward and sometimes three steps back, over and over again. It’s not easy, but it is worth it.