334/444 Healing from Infidelity: Sabbath and Nature
336/444 Healing from Infidelity: Keeping Your Sex Life Alive

335/444 Healing from Infidelity: Kiss Like You Mean It

Here are several other suggestions adapted from Clifford and Joyce Penner for keeping your sex life vivified.

It is vital that both partners know how the body works sexually. So read books and experiment with touch. By experiment I mean touching and asking, 'How does that feel?' Make it playful and by all means be respectful to the responses of your spouse. The Penners have an excellent introductory book, The Gift of Sex. Check it out and other resources at passionatecommitment.com.                  

This next one is pretty straightforward. Keep kissing, passionately, every day. Take some time and focus on one another and kiss like you mean it. Throw in a slow dance in the kitchen while you're kissing if you want. Have fun. Connect. 

Keep open by sharing every day. Plan regular times to talk about sex. If it isn't planned, the desire to talk about sex usually presents itself when there is tension and anger. Try to talk about it when each of you is more relaxed. Share your heart. Be honest, direct and kind. Talk about what you like and don’t like. Share your dreams and desires.

Guys, the woman’s biggest sex organ is her brain. Talk to her, you’ll be amazed how that will encourage her to be open to sex. Be aware that when you are harsh or belittling to her, the last thing she'll want to do later is have sex with you. Along with talking be sure and listen, really tune in to her soul as she risks sharing so vulnerably with you. 

Keep committed to sex, in spite of all the distractions. You may have taken a break from sex, or not, following the revelation of the affair, but unless there are extenuating circumstances sex is generally a regular part of the relationship again at this point. Be cautious of commitments that rob your marriage of time, time for intimacy on all levels which includes sexually. 

 

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