246/444 Healing from Infidelity: Be Intentional
248/444 Healing from Infidelity: Respecting And Accepting Spiritual Differences

247/444 Healing from Infidelity: Candle Lighters And Jet Fuel Drinkers

Building spiritual intimacy is a mixture of Being and Doing. Author Mindy Caliguire referred to two distinct categories of the way individuals generally pursue God and/or ministry. She called them candle lighters and jet fuel drinkers.

The candle lighters are the contemplatives who are at home in the quieter spiritual disciplines of solitude, silence, lectio divina (holy reading) and things like centering prayer. 

The jet fuel drinkers you can imagine are much more energetic and want activity, big loud activity. Massive gravitational pull action. Grow a service or complete a project and do it fast. 

So who is right? Both. One key in spiritual growth is to live out of who God created you to be. If God made you to be smack in the action with adrenaline pumping then get there. Don't exclude the quieter ways of connecting with God. There are unique ways you'll know him that you can't in activity. The same is true for contemplatives like me. We can't just sit under a tree pondering, although that is a wonderful reflective, soothing time. Candle lighters are also to be about the business of building and growing the kingdom in tangible, active accomplishments and caring for others. God grows us in how he uniquely designed us and he grows us in our humility to do or be in what isn't comfortable. 

It reminds me of a time in grad school when the assignment was to write a personal psalm. But at the last minute there was added instruction. If a person was more naturally drawn to lament psalms then the assignment was to pen a psalm of praise. If a person naturally loved to raise hands and bounce around in joyful praise the assignment was to pen a psalm of sorrowful lament. The groans were reminiscent of a herd of cattle. We all accessed deeper parts of our soul. 

Ann is more of a jet fuel drinker. I am more of a candle lighter. We can frustrate one another at times. But together we gain richer glimpses of the heart of God. 

 James 2:17   In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

Today's question to discuss with your spouse. What did you experience or do today that caused you to feel disconnected from God, others and yourself?

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