What is emotional intimacy? It involves oneness, being chosen and in this post we look at Being Known.
Being known, whether we realize it or not is our greatest desire. Being known, whether we realize it or not is our greatest fear. We all have various levels of inviting others to come closer so we can be known. We all have various levels of fear when others get closer and we push them away because being known for all of who we are is scary business. At times we slice to emotional depths so others will back up.
We long to be known but it's crazy scary to remove a fig leaf to really let someone in. We have one arm fully extended with a hand held up telling everyone to stay away while our other hand motions toward others to come closer. If this is strong in a marriage relationship it creates emotional turbulence like an F-5 Tornado.
Initially, in the Garden of Eden, God and Adam and Eve were all relaxed to the bone with one another. Almost total chillin'. But then the whispers came that maybe God was holding out. Eve and Adam ate the fruit expanding their knowledge to good and evil. They began to experience shame. Shame says something is wrong with me so I'm not going to let you see me. So they covered up. What did they cover up? They covered their area of greatest intimacy and greatest difference.
All of a sudden they are looking around wondering what others are thinking and then they hear God, "Yoohoo, where are youuuuuuuu?"
Blame and shame reverberated through the trees. Not from God, but from Adam and Eve.
Still we want to be known. We are all prone to put fig leaves over our parts that we deem unacceptable.
The problem is that we are a mix of dignity and depravity so when we cover something we feel is depraved we are also covering up our dignity which is the part of us that is able to experience emotional intimacy. Our hiding makes us incapable of connecting emotionally. Our hiding can look beautiful but is still a sentence to solitary confinement.
How to get out of jail? It certainly won't be free but it will lead to freedom.
Emotional intimacy will come in an atmosphere of safety as a couple is able to remove fig leaves and allow the other to see inside to all that is wonderful and glorious, and to all that is horrible and selfish. In all that seeing the emotionally connected couple will sit together in humility understanding that God placed all the glory in there and that the cross and resurrection are the only antidotes to the selfishness and sin.