Look back over the previous posts on barriers to intimacy. This starts at 186/444. We've looked at busyness, inefficient conflict skills, not knowing how, kids, fear of rejection, self sufficiency, past abuse, being an adult child of an alcoholic, addiction, pornography, past abandonment, and shame.
Where do you see yourself in the above list? Your spouse? Spend some time telling your story to one another in these areas. If needed, talk it through with a graceful friend, pastor or professional who you trust.