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September 2005
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November 2005

An Adulterer Pursuing His Spouse

Understandably when a spouse is betrayed he or she is going to feel anger, mistrust and well the list could go on and on.  Often times it takes quite a while for a betraying spouse to win the spouse's trust back to a point where tenderness is common to the marriage. 

The betraying spouse may have to hear and respect 'no' many times in many situations.  Can I sit beside you?  No.  Can I hold your hand?  No.  Can I rub your shoulder?  No

In Paulo Coelho's, Warrior of The Light (given to me by my daughter for Father's Day) he shares these words that I feel apply to this situation,

Warrior For the Warrior there is no such thing as an impossible love.

He is not intimidated by silence, indifference, or rejection.  He knows that behind the mask of ice that people have a heart of fire. 

This is why the Warrior takes more risks than other people.  He is constantly seeking the love of someone (I am aware here a betrayed spouse could take issue with this not saying spouse but I wanted to honor the original writing, admin), even if that means often having to hear the word "no," returning home defeated and feeling rejected in body and soul. 

A Warrior never gives in to fear when he is searching for what he needs.  Without love, he is nothing. 

An infidel will have to deal with silence, indifference and rejection.  Respecting the silence, indifference and rejection honors the fact that the betrayed spouse cared deeply about him or her and the relationship.  In respecting the betrayed spouse's "no" but returning to ask again and again an infidel communicates that he or she does want to be married, restore the relationship and understands some of the hurt and pain caused to the betrayed spouse.  It can also illustrate some respect for the tremendous risk it is for the betrayed spouse to show again the 'heart of fire' and offer trusting love again.