When Ann and I first went to counseling following the revelation of her affair the counselor suggested I read The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis. The book is about two demons discussing the finer points of devilry and temptation. Uncle Screwtape is mentoring his nephew Wormwood in how to subtly temp a human to move away from his relationship with God. I believe the counselor had me read this to see that good people through busyness and inattention can be duped into believing that short term pleasure from sin can fill the deep longings in our souls that God wants us first to seek to be filled in the Trinity. It helped me to see how my wife could have an affair and opened my eyes to the ways I was moving away from God harming myself and others in my life.
I came across this article, Screwtape Proposes Divorce in Christianity Today. It is humorous but also makes important points about what can set up marriages to fail. The discussion now is between Uncle Wasphead and nephew Gallstone. Here is a bit of it below.
That such persons do not exist is to be kept TOP SECRET, Gallstone. Let's be blunt: these humans are scouring the globe for someone with whom a relationship will require absolutely no work or compromise whatever. I asked you not to snigger. Many adult humans who have long ago dismissed Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny as myths somehow persist in believing this special person to exist. And of course the fact that many Hollywood movies come across like some version of "Yes, Virginia, there IS a soulmate" is all to the good! In fact, many people who don't even believe in the existence of our Heavenly Enemy nonetheless stick to their faith in this "soulmate." Don't let them see the contradiction in this, Gallstone, whatever you do. The moment they realize that if there is such thing as a soulmate, then there must be Someone up there doing the coordinating, your goose is cooked. Of course if they knew the Someone doing the coordinating they would know that His idea of love and marriage has nothing to do with this soulmate nonsense, but do not let them realize this contradiction! Do and you'll be herding poltergeists in condemned mansions before you can say "whoopsie!"Even if they aren't entirely convinced there is just one person out there who fits this description, they often have a vague sense that they may find something close to such a person—if only they could get out of this hateful marriage and be free! Our strategy in all of this is effectively twofold: if they have married someone with whom they get along reasonably well, we encourage them that this magically special and truly perfect match is still out there, somewhere, "just around the bend"—and with a kind of predictability that would stun Nostradamus they'll soon enough think about this the moment things go sour, often dashing an otherwise solid marriage in the process. If they destroy their marriage and run off with their supposed "soulmate", then we watch and wait till their new partner inevitably dissappoints them, perhaps even in the same way their ex-spouse did! Then we simply sit back with a bowl of popcorn and watch them collapse in unravelling misery and self-torture. Who says there are no perks to this job, Gallstone?
Yr. rupturing Uncle,
WASPHEAD
