Sacred Wound

For a while I have been deliberating on getting a session or two of EMDR. A friend has gone through it and says that he still remembers the painful events but doesn't feel the trauma anymore. The most traumatic moment in my life has been learning of Ann's affair. I have been wondering if there isn't some lasting residual effect that gets in the way still.
I think EMDR can be helpful for many, especially adults with significant childhood trauma, but for me I have decided I am going to skip it.

Rick Diamond talks about sacred wounds in Wrestling with God,

The story says that the man knocks Jacob's hip out of joint in order to escape. This is what the mythic tradition calls the "sacred wound". King Arthur sails away with one. The resurrected Jesus bears the marks of his crucifixion. Women's bodies and hearts are changed forever after the wounding trauma of giving birth. God commands the men of ancient Israel to carry circumcision on their bodies, a ritual scarring, as a sign of their being a separate tribe (and as a symbol of Abraham submitting his sexuality to God according to Janelle Hallman, my addition). Luke Skywalker loses a hand. Boys and girls in tribal cultures have scars on their faces from initiation ceremonies. These wounds are remnants of our baptisms and our deaths and rebirths. You live through the dying process, but you are never the same. You have a story to tell. You know what it is to feel pain.

At this point in my life my sacred wound is the splitting of my soul that occured in the moment of the revelation of the affair. It was made somewhat more intense by the fact that I was three weeks into my first semester at seminary. My soul split but has since been rejoined as only God can fasten me. Recalling that healed wound in my soul takes me to a place of thinking about God's redemption in my life and marriage. This healed wound has made me stronger and more courageous. That makes it... a gift to value.

Comments

[Teresa]

I stumbled upon your page while referencing the “sacred wound “ in google. We were talking about trauma’s in a yahoo chat and the term was mentioned. I went through a childhood trauma that would change my perceptions for many years there after.
We learn more from turmoil than we do anything else life itself produces. I would almost go to say the only way to gain true light is through darkness. It would make logical sense. As the things most worth doing are always the hardest. Why would it not be the same for knowledge. These instances of darkness almost always lead to some sort of rebirth within ourselves. We are never the same after them, though, we can choose to be a better us.
I once thought of these dark times as scorn. I thought of them as being chosen to suffer rather than just being chosen. Chosen to experience that which I may need upon my journey through life. How are we to fully understand that which we do not know personally? I feel everything in life happens for a reason. Everything intertwines with each thing from the past and each thing yet to come. The events interlaced within are muck like the education needed to guide us where we are meant to go.
I admire your ability to discuss the situation and to share it with others. It allows them to see resolution. Being a writer I am more enigmatic about my situations leaving behind only emotions and broad thoughts. Yet, perhaps that is what was meant to unfold from me. I also admire your ability to forgive. Your ability to see that she too was in the darkness of her own trauma. It takes a wise person to be able to see the other side of their turmoil and to understand it to the extent of forgiveness. As for lasting residual effects that may get in the way forever. Once you fully see and understand both sides it becomes knowledge. You only retain residual negative effects if you choose to do so. In the instant you both chose to work on the situation you both experienced a rebirth into the next circle of your lives. The residual effect therefore would be understanding unless you chose to harness regret which is your choice. Time heals all wounds.
I think you will do well as a man of God. And to be all honest this new understanding will serve you well. You will be approached by many looking for you guidance in this same situation. Now you have the means to guide them with a full understanding. I hope you and Ann are still doing well and I hope you continued on with your seminary education. This world needs good, honest spiritual guidance. My only advice is not to let the fear of God itself blind you. Be open to the peace itself that spirituality provides.

Okay I’ve rambled enough. Thank you again for your post and your honesty.

Sincerely,
Teresa

[ben]

Thanks Teresa. I appreciate your thoughts.