Two questions seem to be crossing my path in various forms from various individuals. These questions reside at the core of our souls. The first is for men, 'Do I have what it takes or am I enough?' For women it is 'Am I lovely or do you think I'm beautiful?'
These questions line up with what God calls us to in scripture,
Ephesians 5:33 each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. It isn't that women don't want to be respected and men don't want to be loved, it is just that respect is a higher need for men and love is a higher need for women.
Ultimately, we need to find the answer to these questions in God, yet how our spouse answers these or how we perceive he/she answers these questions is also vital.
The following questions may help you in the redemption of your gender. Take the time to know yourself and also pay close attention to what you believe your spouse's response will be and what he or she actually says.
Men How would you like to be shown respect?
When have you felt believed in by your wife?
Women How would you like to be cherished by your husband?
When have you felt special in your husbands eyes?
For both of you, How can you communicate daily, in small simple acts and words, that you value and respect your spouse?