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April 2004
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June 2004

My Emotional Affair

The topic is so big. Emotional Affairs. Mine. I don’t actually know where to begin. It is 9pm now and I feel like the sun could very well be peaking over the plains and painting the Rocky Mountain foothills golden by the time I am finished. So, as much of me wants to go deaden my soul in front of the TV, I write.

We mention this in our talk, but we don’t go into much detail on it. I feel fear, shame, and gratitude as I type. Fear that I’ll be rejected for my sin; shame over having chosen another over God and my wife, gratitude that my wife of almost 19 years is in the next room and my son of 17 years is downstairs. My daughter is out doing whatever a passionate, seeking, believing, questioning 19 year-old does on a cool May evening in her new to her 1995 SUV. I am truly grateful we are still together when I almost tossed it away.

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